Where is the hickey?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
