Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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