sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
