I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
