How'd it feel making her break her religion?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
