a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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