Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
did you just send me my own nude
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
