Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
