It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
