Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
now i know why i became what i already was.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
