Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
