I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
