I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
