Ambien. No doubt about it.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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