no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
