is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
