I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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