is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
