just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
