"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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