I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
honey bunches of taint.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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