I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
