he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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