I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Two words: nipple clamps
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