It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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