epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
