she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
