What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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