I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
