And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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