Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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