the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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