Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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