i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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