We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
