singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
