nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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