..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
