OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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