and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
