she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
