Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
