mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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