I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
