the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My vagina just clenched in fear
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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