How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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