You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
