Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
