so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
