love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
