I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
