im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Found the puke drawer
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
