I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
